Leona Berlin

2/13/20   PUSHING vs LETTING GO    Currently I’m writing, producing and recording my second album. It’s so exciting! Many ideas and drafts have been sitting on my computer and phone for years, and now finally the time has come for them to be realized and put on an album! It’s also a challenge though. Sometimes creativity is flowing, that’s the dopest thing. Sometimes it’s not. When it doesn’t flow, I have a choice: I can push through anyways -sitting with the lyrics until the next word comes, sometimes for hours- OR I can let it go and do something else instead. Pushing through feels like sailing without wind. You just sit and wait. Can’t do anything about it. It’s annoying. But when the wind finally comes, it’s great and so rewarding! You are so happy that you didn’t quit! Other times though it’s better to just do something completely different and clear the mind, so fresh ideas can arise at all. The thing is, you never know when to push vs to relax. This is a theme that applies to many other areas in life as well. It boiles down to the question of “when do I genuinely need a break vs when is it my resistence of fear or stepping out of my comfort-zone, that makes me not want to do something. To me there’s a very subtle difference. It’s that when I let go, or I should say “give up” because of my resistence, it feels good only short-term. It’s like “wohoo, I’ve avoided it!” But the resistence is still there, giving me a subtle bad conscious because in the back of my mind I know it doesn’t serve me and my purpose. When I let go because I really need it, it just feels good whithout that bad feeling. It’s very subtle and difficult to distinguish, that’s the tricky part of it. Well, I will keep on practicing… #thursdaythoughts